Updated: Aug 17
As a result of self-quarantine, I feel extremely inward.
I feel lonely, like I don't belong. I definitely don't feel like I belong among those who are freaking out about getting sick. I know don't belong among those who are freaking out about "the collapse of modern society" (TBH I'm kind of excited about that). Finally, I certainly don't feel like I belong among the ranks of those who protest social distancing or nonchalantly avoid CDC recommendations. My friend (Zach Tollen, Jungian Mystic) once told me that the only people among whom he belongs are those who do not belong anywhere at all. He has also defended the emotion of "loneliness" by saying "my loneliness is mine and not yours to fix." I resonate with Zach while simultaneously wondering if my own feelings of "non-belonging" can simply be boiled down to a human desire to be a "beautiful and unique snowflake".
As a result of my current anti-sociality, , I've lost quite a bit of motivation in trying to make meaningful connections with others through my social media tropes. At the moment, I'm feeling rather unmotivated to research hashtags or invest effort in "liking" or commenting on the posts of others; as such, connections are organic and natural, but infrequent. However, social media platforms continue to serve as an interesting means of emotional expression for me, so... here's what's happnin':
Sage the Human: This trope holds solid in terms of interaction and followers. Unsurprising, due to my current misanthropic mood, I feel constrained by my original algorithm. I find myself re-posting content from my other tropes as well as posting additional content of the dark humor/snarky/political variety on Facebook that was not originally generated from "Sage the Human" on Instagram. In fact, the my Facebook page should, henceforth, be considered about as "integrated" (or rogue) as this blog. Additionally, now that I have the opportunity to practice trapeze outdoors, I started posting training/rehearsal videos in this gallery. Although circus aerials feels a bit "out of trope" for Sage the Human, we'll see how that plays.
Jessi-Clam: Jessi-Clam is not landing exactly where I wanted I wanted her to land...just yet. I've enjoyed writing and drawing comics, however, they don't encapsulate Jessi-Clam's identity in the way I know her. That said, an integral part of Jessi-Clam's identity has always been determining Jessi-Clam's identity. So, over the next few weeks, I am going to devote time towards designing and fabricating the first Jessi-Clam puppet, something I think might take the construction of her identity to the next level. So...stay tuned.
Sage the Robot: Due to quarantine, I feel extremely unmotivated to invest time into the Sage the Robot trope, despite the fact that she is designed to be the most social trope of all. Likely, I am just as bored with her limited algorithm as the men she interacts with on OKCupid. For now, I connect the least with Sage the Robot. However, I don't have any intentions to change anything about her in the next week.
Alice Light + Dark: Currently, I connect the most with my "Alice Light + Dark" trope. She is dark, brooding, romantic and melodramatic. I also love her witchy Instagram gallery. I find it easy to symbolically communicate through this trope (at the moment) and one thing that I notice about her is that she is aligning her recent heartbreak and depression with the story of discovering Wonderland. Falling "down the rabbit hole" has been equated to falling in (and out) of love and drawings and spells seem to relate to romantic love and establishing interpersonal boundaries.
That's it for this week.
Thank you for following.
Or not following.